Unified Theory
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
10:50 am
As soon as Jonny read the email from Hugo Whitney, he immediately printed out its contents and deleted it from the professor’s inbox. This was going to be his great discovery; the professor had enough glory for several lifetimes.
Jonny grabbed one of the horrible rewordings of the Wikipedia article and burned it with his grill lighter. He felt a sense of freedom and liberation. He burned another which made him feel even better. Next, he grabbed all 73 remaining papers, crunched them into a tightly packed giant paper ball, and tossed it in his trash can. He grabbed some lighter fluid from his desk drawer and sprinkled it generously on the contents of his trash.
With a flick of the grill lighter switch, all of Jonny’s worries went up in smoke.
After the flames died down, Jonny opened his apartment window and let the smoke clear out of his apartment. He looked down at the Mississippi River seven stories below and immediately knew what he needed to do.
He sharpened a pencil, grabbed a scientific calculator, and began three weeks of diagramming and calculating based on the photos that Hugo Whitney had emailed the professor.
Jonny was sure this was why he was born. This was going to be his legacy
